Men are funny little creatures when it comes to their wardrobe. The baseball cap they cannot live without or the work boots necessary for the job are okay when worn for the specific purpose in which they were created. There are some things; however, that regardless of how cute, attractive or macho you think they look, should never, ever be worn in public. For a quick and easy reference to the top seven things a man should never wear in public, please post the following list next to the floor, couch or other area where you store your clothing.
First, those Speedos you are so proud of are a huge no no. They do not get a woman’s attention in the way that you assume they will, in fact the only attention you will receive is when a woman asks you to pose for a picture she can send to all of her girlfriends with a caption that reads ” OMG can you believe he wore this in public?”
Second, never and I repeat never cut off a pair of jeans to wear as shorts that are above the thigh area. We have no interest in viewing whats under the shorts being intertwined with the fringe of the shorts. If you insist on cutting up jeans, they should be no shorter than two inches above your knee, however, we would prefer you wear shorts that have been purchased not homemade.
Third, why is it so difficult to wear a pair of jeans that fit? They are available in sizes other than 40 for a 34 inch waist. Women also have no desire to view first hand the answers to, is he a boxers or briefs guy. And while were on the subject, no you should not wear that thong under them either. Buy pants that fit and wear a belt.
Fourth, flip flops are fine if you are going to the beach, but do not wear them as everyday wear. Just because the flip flops are black and the trousers are black does not mean they go together. And when you do wear them, soap and water is required for feet prior to going in public. And an added bonus regarding footwear, is do not wear socks with sandals. It does not matter if they are white, black or brown…do not wear them with sandals.
Fifth, leather pants are not considered dressing up. These were not designed for the average man to wear, nor were they designed for someone over twenty. Wearing tight leather pants, even worse wearing tight vinyl pants, is not going to take you from the age of forty to the age of twenty instantaneously. Fore go the leather and opt for denim.
Sixth, wearing a t-shirt that is two sizes to small does not give us the impression that you are built. A tight t-shirt is simply that, they do not provide us with an illusion of grander nor do they make us want to tell our friends how well built you are. Buy clothes that fit, it is as simply as that.
Seventh, this is the big one so pay close attention and reread if necessary. Do not make your bottle of cologne last two days. I will repeat this in a simpler form, do not, do not, do not spray the cologne all over your body by holding the nozzle down and if you wear the splash on type, it is called splash on for a reason. It is not meant to fill the palm of your hand and used as a skin coating. Just because it smells good, does not mean that it will smell better if you use half the bottle. In this case, less is more.
These are simple baby steps for you to get started in correct dressing habits. Should you forget the steps, reread each as often as needed and feel free to make a copy for your buddies, their wives and girlfriends will be forever grateful to you.