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Itchy Fish

A Bunch of Crap I Hate About Writing and a Challenge

by itchy fish

Jaipi Sixbear is not all sunshine and roses. In fact, there’s a bunch of crap I hate about writing. I’m betting there’s a bunch of crap my favorite positive writers hate about writing too. That’s right, I’m talking to you. The ones that never have a bad word to say about anything. Nobody is perfect all the time. I’m issuing a challenge to all my fellow positive writers on AC / Yahoo. Tell us what you hate about writing. Do you have the courage to show us your dark side? You must hate something. Mix it up, break it down, be real, let it out and hit us with your best shot. It’s OK to be human. It’s OK to get angry. We all know there is something you must hate to no end. So here’s a bunch of crap I hate about writing. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

I Hate Secret Identities, but Mostly the Stalkers and Weirdos that Necessitate Them
As most of you know, Jaipi Sixbear is not my real name. When I first started writing online I decided to use a pen name to protect myself and my family from the inevitable weirdos who come out of the woodwork when I address controversial subjects. I like myself. I’m proud of my accomplishments. Now all my accomplishments are accredited to someone else.

What’s worse? I have actually become my alias. I actually think of myself as Jaipi Sixbear. I spend most of my life online so that’s who I am now, even to myself. Couldn’t change it if I wanted to. It wouldn’t feel right. Now that more of my family is online, it seems even stupider. I can’t even address them by their real names online. I hate the stalkers and weirdos that necessitate pen names and other protective measures. Behave yourself, you idiots, so the rest of us can be who we are.

Describing Myself in the Third Person
Everyone knows who writes those little bios on profiles and such. Why can’t we use the word “I”? Well, that wouldn’t be professional, now would it? No, it’s much better to sound like a complete idiot, by describing yourself in the third person. Jaipi Sixbear likes long walks in the rain and glowing sunsets. How ridiculous!

Jaipi Sixbear hates talking about herself as if she were someone else. It feels silly and somewhat pretentious. Who made up this stupid idea years ago, anyway? What a bunch of crap! Why can’t we just write the way we want? I hate rules and regulations that exist for no reason other than to make us appear well heeled and refined. Mainly because I am not well heeled and refined and I’m proud of it. Never had a use for snobbery and never will.

Speaking of Snobbery
One of the biggest things on my bunch of crap I hate about writing list is the rules. I hate that there are so many rules about writing. I write what I feel. I let the words flow from my fingertips like rain on a hot summer afternoon. I don’t care about proper sentence structure. I don’t give a crap about form or function. I put the words together so they sound good and mean something. Rules are for fancy people and I’m not fancy.

Heck, I don’t even want to be fancy. I’m not completely illiterate. I watch my spelling. I try to make my points intelligently and clearly. I speak simply and I don’t use huge words people don’t understand just to make myself look smarter. I know those words, but what does it matter if the reader needs a dictionary to interpret my articles? You see, I want everyone to be able to read and comprehend my articles. Not just the highly educated. Everyone.

Sometimes I Hate My Thought Process
When facing a deadline, there is nothing I hate more than my own mind. Writing is a strange profession. It may, in fact be the only profession where not being in the right frame of mind is completely disabling. You literally can’t write unless your head is in the right place.

Think of any other job. I don’t care what you do for a living, you can do it depressed, hung over, heart broken and even all out insane. Not so with writing. You need your brain to write,. If it’s out of commission, nothing happens. So, add to the list of crap I hate about writing, the fact that if my mind is not co-operating, I can’t do my job.

People Think Writing is Easy
Writing is my chosen profession and despite all this crap I hate about writing, I love it! There is nothing I would rather do than this. Still, it’s not the easiest profession in the world. So many people who don’t write have a strange and utterly incorrect view of writers. So many people I know do not understand why I don’t get a “real” job. They think writing is so darn easy and it makes me angry. I don’t just sit in front of a bay window, watching birdies and pleasantly tapping out my thoughts.

Writing takes research and verification of facts. It takes time to find the right words. Words that don’t offend. Words that get the point across. Words that please the search engines so someone will actually click on my article and read the darn thing. Words that hold the readers interest for more than a nanosecond. Writing is hard work and I hate it when people think I’m taking it easy here at my computer. I work hard!

Criticism from Within the Writers Circle
Recently, many of us online writers have received boatloads of criticism from print media writers concerning the quality of our work. Seriously, folks, there is room for both of us on this freight train. Our writing serves a purpose and fills a need, whether you care to admit it or not. There are crap writers online and there are crap writers in print. There are also some darn good writers both in print and online.

Yes, we online writers have to word and write our articles in such a way that gets us noticed by the search engines, just as print writers have to tow the line with their editors (so do we, by the way). That’s how all we earn a living. One more thing, some of us earn just as much and more than you do. It’s a myth that online writers are cheated out of “real” money. Plus, our page views earn us residual payments for the rest of our lives. How many of you can say the article you wrote yesterday will still be earning you money in twenty years? Just another example of the snobbery I have come to hate about writing.

That’s About It / Now It’s Your Turn
OK, all you positive writers, now it’s your turn. What do you hate? It doesn’t have to be about writing. I want to see some of you open up and tell us what you truly abhor about any subject of your choosing. I know you have it in you to be human. Stop running through that field of daisies. Venting is cleansing for the soul. It may even clear your mind for more positive thoughts.

It may lead to surprising friendships with people who feel the same. At the very least it will give you a lesson in humility. Quit hiding behind your writing persona. Take off those goody two shoes and throw them across the room. I showed you mine, now you show me yours. Let out that inner cave man (or cave woman) and tell us how you really feel. I know there is a bunch of crap you hate. What is it? I’m listening.

Source:

Personal Experience

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