Wow, these “times” are so easy aren’t they? We don’t have enough to do and frankly I’m quite bored. When boredom comes knocking on my door I want to shake it up anyway I can. I’d like some stress to ease the doldrums of life. So, the following list is a compilation of surefire ways to drive myself (and others in my path) completely and totally nuts.
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. ~Richard Carlson
Toss your keys
Never, ever put your car or house keys in the same place twice. Just walk in the house, throw them on the table and allow other people to put things on top of them. If you like to be late for work or other appointments, this is helpful.
Procrastinate getting gas until tomorrow morning
On your way home from work, when you notice you’re riding on fumes from the gas tank, just wait till tomorrow morning to get gas.
Say always and never to people, especially in the middle of an argument
Well, this is kind of easy because you know the response you’ll get. “I do not always leave the lights on in the basement, just sometimes.” Or, “I do to take the clothes from the washer and put them in the dryer right away.” Pretty good huh? Ok, but this is great, you’ll also get to trade “always’s and never’s” You’ll likely get back “Yeah, well you never say thank you for cleaning the house. You’re ungrateful.” See, aren’t these good times? No boredom here, folks.
Get yourself a speeding ticket or any other moving violation
Take your pick; speed, run a red light or even drive while on a suspended license. This is the best way to get to know your insurance agent and support your local city, state and township. And, when you have to sit on the side of the road for 1/2 hour, it’s completely worth it. You’ll also get to know your law enforcement officers well. I personally suggest flying through a school zone.
Start late, leave late, be late, get love from all
It is so much fun to try to come up with a plausible excuse for being late to work. Try three or four of them on for size while you’re speeding there to explain to your boss why you’re there 20 minutes after everyone else. And, do it at least once a week. You’ll meet stares and glares from your co-workers and it’s a great way to make friends. Being late will never cause you anxiety and the need to rush around.
Allow yourself to run out of toilet paper, coffee, toothpaste, shampoo
It’s not a good idea to keep your daily staples in the house. It’s more fun and exciting to have to decide what to use instead of toilet paper (insert imagination here) or to have to brush your teeth with only water because you don’t have anything for your pearly whites. Shampoo, who needs it, just use your body soap, it will leave a film on your hair like none other. Then, all day you can be annoyed at having a bad hair day. Stocking up on staples equals boredom!
Well, there ya have just some tips and tricks. You’re on your way to becoming as stressed as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs in no time. Get crazy!