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Itchy Fish

4 Things to Do Now that You’re Unemployed

by itchyfish

Let’s face it, many of us (by us, I mean fellow humans) are unemployed and feeling aimless dread about paying bills, maintaining a coveted social status, and, basically, having ‘something to do’.

I’m not going to pretend the jobs are coming back, because they’re not. Mass manufacturing days are over. Wal-Mart & Friends sent them overseas long ago, and that’s where they will remain. Your manufacturing jobs constantly shift to poorer countries where labor laws still haven’t been established.

Nothing can be made as cheaply as a young girl in XYZ working steadily for fourteen to eighteen hours a day. Don’t blame Wal-Mart, or any of their corporate friends, because that’s just good business. And hey, you save a few bucks every week.

Now, onto the list. What can you do now that you’re unemployed? Well, everything but make money (but that’s the point!). You can explore vast areas and improve upon YOU. Let me make a few simple, but important suggestions.

Here’s the list:

Getting the Mail

Make a big deal out of getting the mail each morning or afternoon. It really is something to look forward to, and it’s free. Unless you’re getting bills, then it sucks, but still, it’s an event, and you can stretch it out so it fills at least a fraction of that lingering void.

You can also invite the mailman, or mailwoman in for a drink. They like that.

Read A Book, Become A Scholar

I know this one is crazy to most Americans, but challenge yourself. Read a book, pick a topic that interests you, and ‘dive in’ as some librarians say (or maybe that was just my childhood librarian, I don’t know).

If you don’t like books about boring topics, such as ‘discovering yourself’, or ‘racial tension’, or ‘the industrial revolution’, try Erotica. Anais Nin. It might be your thing.

Work out

It wouldn’t hurt to stretch, lift weights, jog, whatever, while you’re unemployed. You can get a sexier body for yourself, or you can do it to attract others, up to you, but, either way, it’s usually a healthy endeavor. And, for lawsuit reasons, I say, check with your doctor first before taking on any kind of exercise plan.

And who knows, in ten years, when the jobs come back, or enough people have killed themselves, or the Baby Boomers (what was it, the Worst Generation?) finally retire, you might have a job.

But working out for that decade is going to transform your puny body into something majestic. In ten years, you will have attractive people wanting you, and a chance for a job at Wal-Mart.

Learn Something New

Pick up a new skill, become talented at something. Like the tuba, or the more dynamic Sousaphone. Try rock climbing. Start researching something. Get into Tantric Sex.

Or, start small, if you’re not used to commitment. If you don’t smoke already, start smoking. That’ll be exciting for a few months and give you something else to worry about. Try every pack of cigarettes, find your favorite, and become a connoisseur. Sit on your stoop, and smoke. If you already smoke, pick up a whiskey habit, and if you already drink to excess, try an instrument.

Opening up yourself to Life can come in a thousand ways. You are dynamic, remember, so hold on, have hope, and make the best of a failing America.

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