The gym is the place to meet different characters. There are some people in the gym that are too funny to believe:
1. The Extreme Powerlifter
You’re working out and you hear a bellowing scream. Have the bowels of hell just opened up inside Gold’s Gym? No it’s just the muscle bound powerlifter doing dead lifts. “Whatever,” you say to yourself, “He’s pushing himself to the limit.” You hear it again this time louder. It’s the same guy lifting an enormous amount of weight. Is he okay? This continues for the next hour as he completes his 5×5 workout. He’s just trying to get everyone’s attention on his weight lifting prowess, while disturbing peace.
When you confront him he is just finishing his barbell curls on the squat rack. His extreme supplements cause every vein in his face to pop out and he has these weird eyebrow ridges. “Yo, dude can you stop screaming so much?” His face turns red with rage. Do you know how much weight he can life?! He calms down as he realizes that his size means nothing to anyone but him. “I know you’re extreme dude but a lot of people come to the gym to relax. Most of us don’t mind the occasional yell or grunt. Hell, we may be guilty of it ourselves, but you’ve been taking it to excess.”
2. The Sexual Predator
Who’s that guy doing curls behind the girls cheerleading team on the treadmill? Now he’s staring at the football team too. We got ourselves a gym creeper. He’s easy to spot. He can range anywhere between the age of 40-65 and he loves to stare at you while you’re in a compromised position. Maybe you’re stretching your gluteus muscles or doing lunges.
Maybe he’s just admiring your physique. Soon you begin to realize that he definitely wants more. His eyes follow you across the gym. You are just about to finish working out and you realize he has disappeared. You walk into the locker room to get your stuff. Surprise! He is standing in hallway, nude, toweling off.
3. The MILF
Everyone knows who she is. The hot mom that comes to the gym during lunch break to do her weighted pilates by the dumbbell rack. Her pink headband matches her Jane Fonda socks. Small drops of sweat run down her back as she does her 300th variation of the weighted bend over and touch your toes. We all know she could be doing these at home, but why would anyone want that. Thank you hot mom for coming to my gym. Don’t change a thing.
4. The Bros
They travel in packs. They have sick blowouts. An orange glow radiates from their skin as they all leave the locker room. They immediately head to the bench press. They practice their dance moves and cheer each other on. Their gym attire is perfectly matched.
They finish the bench press and move to bicep curls, then back to bench press. They spend most of their time by the dumbbells. This is so they get maximum mirror.
I would like to thank you gym characters. Without your utter ridiculousness the gym would be a boring place.