Wendy Treat is the author of the book called, Sex, Let’s Talk About it. It is a great guide for married couples and she gives 14 points to building a strong marriage.
1. Great Marriages Are Built – Do not always wait until your spouse makes the first move to do something. Both husbands and wives need to give 100% of all they have to the relationship. (Proverbs 14:1)
2. Forgive On A Daily Basis – According to Wendy, “If you’re mad and have animosity, don’t go to bed until you ask for forgiveness. Don’t go to sleep at night without first challenging your heart.” (Ephesians 4:26)
3. Practice Little Acts of Kindness – According to Wendy, “Do things the way your spouse likes them done – his breakfast or gas in her car. Place things where they like them placed. Resist the urge to act like a martyr and yield to kindness.”
4. Speak Words of Life Every Day – According to Wendy, “Words can soothe and heal, or they can become weapons of destruction. Choose wisdom and speak words of knowledge correctly. Speak healing, restoration, and words of love.” (Proverbs 15:1,2)
5. Spoil Your Mate With Acts of Thoughtfulness – Make frequent and loving phone calls, email messages, notes and voice mails.
6. Touch With Love – According to Wendy, “Touching builds comfort and security.” That kiss when your spouse comes in the door at night is vital. (Romans 16:16)
7. Have Helping Hands – According to Wendy, “Be quick to help. Don’t always wait to be asked.”
8. Talk Politely – Saying “please” and “thank you” often is important. It shows your spouse that you really appreciate what they are doing. Even if your husband always washes the dishes after dinner, it’s nice to recognize it from time to time.
9. Look Your Mate in the Eyes and Really Listen – According to Wendy, “Look him or her in the eyes. Listen with more than your ears. Learn to look at him or her as a person.”
10. Give Your Mate Space With a Smile – Giving each other their own personal space is important in marriage. According to Wendy, “Time alone is refreshing. It quiets the noise and clamor of life and opens the door for the peace of God to come in.”
11. Say Yes – Be quick to respond to your spouse’s needs and wants. If you are in the middle of something and your spouse wants to go to a movie, drop everything and go.
12. Trust and Communicate Trust – According to Wendy, “Speak words of trust. Build a fortress of trust in your marriage. Quit being so fearful and gripping on too tightly.”
13. Be in His Corner – Stand on his side and strengthen him with your words. Tell him that everything will be fine. According to Wendy, saying things like, “You’ll make the right choice or “You know what to do” are things your spouse likes to hear.
14. Just Laugh – According to Wendy, “Laugh at life, what you do, and what you don’t do. You will have a lot more fun in your life and in your marriage.”